oddball

it's funny. we were playing with pencils.. doing some weird.. wrestling or something.. we had our pencils on our hands, pushing. what looked like 2 swords pressing against each other, then one of them broke.. the unbroken pencil pushed straight with its lead.. piercing the skin near the left side of my nose.. leaving a black mark. we were grade school students back then.

now the mark is gone. things are different. she now has a baby.. her husband, who looked like my cousin.. nah, not really my cousin, but the son of a really close friend of my mom. she's happy.

kakalungkot somewhat haha. tumatanda na tayo. lahat na ng mga kakilala ko kinakasal na. yet i'm still somewhat alone lol. it might be stupid pero siguro yun na isa kong naging ... disturbing? cumbersome, irritating ... goal at the moment haha. to hopefully find that perfect someone.

so i make a fool out of myself.. searching for that someone, sacrificing.. and stuff. people laugh at you.. and things .. but you just want to prove to yourself that even if you're going to fail, at least give it all you've got until you really do. and even if people think it's wrong, what IS wrong anyway... i'll still try anyway.

where's the fun in life if you keep doing things right? who said that was right anyway.. if it came from someone... aren't you trying to live his life? trying to live how he/she did? since it's "tried and tested", "proven to be right".. doesn't that mean that somebody has done it that way already?..

ah man.. my head. hahahaha. makalaro na nga lang muna ehehehehe